Romania vs. Languages

I was waiting for Ella in the main square of Braşov. An old man, not looking like a bum, approaches me and says something in Romanian.
I reply in English,
- Sorry, I speak English.
He replies with a perfect German,
- Sprechen Sie Deutsch? (Do you speak German?)
I reply in German,
- Ja, ich spreche Deutsch. (Yes, I speak German).
He continues in German with the well known phrases,
- I am hungry, can you give me some change so I can buy something to eat....
I give him some coins and he asks:
- Are you from Germany?
- No, I am from Turkey.
He opens his eyes with amazement:
- But how come you speak German?!
Me thinking, "hmmm I have the same question for you"
- Well, I learned it at school.
Even with greater amazement: 
- Wow! Thank you very much.
and he leaves...

The day after, I am in Sibiu. After having lunch, I go to the cash register to pay the check. I hand in the money to the waiter, he gives me the change and says: "Thank you, nice to meet you!".

For another lunch, I end up in an (almost) empty pub in Raşnov. The only other customer is a guy who got already drunk at midday. The radio plays "Boys, Boys, Boys". He sings to me loudly "Boys, boys, boys, I loveeeee uuu" and offers his drink to share. I tell him sharp "Go back and sit!", but bursting in laughs the moment he turns away. The waitress apologizes ten times but does not want to accept the fact that I am not Spanish (!). 

 

Home vs. hometown

"Where are you from?"

This is a nightmare question for me. First of all, it depends where we are right now. Second, do you expect one word answer or my lifetime story?

If we are in Ankara, I am from Istanbul. If we are in Istanbul, I am from Ankara. Actually I am from the Netherlands, since I live there. My parents are not from Ankara nor Istanbul, or just a bit, and no, they do not live in the Netherlands. If we are in the Netherlands, I am from Turkey, please skip the question "which part of Turkey?", and no, I have not been born and raised here. If we are somewhere else in the world, don't even start.

Turkish language is a bit easier in that sense: you either ask the city/country you live in, or you call as your hometown, or where your family originates from. Not all of them and even more stuffed in one single question.

The first year I moved to the Netherlands, I went for an one-week international course in Vienna with Athens Programme. There were no other Turkish students, since the Turkish universities were not represented. I was there representing TU Delft, from the Netherlands. So when people asked me where I am from, I answered: "I am from Delft, the Netherlands" and later on during the conversation I sometimes mentioned that I am not Dutch but Turkish.
Two-three days later I had following conversation with fellow Dutch and Belgian classmates:
-You know, you should not tell people you are from the Netherlands. You are not Dutch.
-I do not tell people I am Dutch, I tell them I come from the Netherlands because I study there.
-No, no, you should tell them you are Turkish.
Incredibly, they were offended by the way I defined myself!

Later on, when I spent more time abroad, I realized the thick border between "tolerating" and "embracing". As a foreigner in the Netherlands, I am being "tolerated" for me being me with the expectation to move on with the "integration", of course for the "better". And by the integration I do not mean leaving the habits or behaviours which do not comply with living in a modern society, but implementing all the small details of the Dutch way of living "because this is how we do things her". I felt like that I was continously at the doorstep of "becoming Dutch": cycling one big step closer to the door, cold cheese sandwiches another step, baking your own birthday cake, getting closer and closer to the moment you go across the door and be part of your friends and colleagues waiting on the other side. Still, you are not completely Dutch but "alloctoon", reminding that you will be still tolerated and not embraced.

Recently I moved to another working environment, which is more like a floating international independent island above the Dutch culture cloud. And the way I define myself started to float as well, I started to loose the parts which made me Dutch-compliant and started to remember which parts of me were orginating from Turkey, well, because this time I was expected to be only a Turkish person, without involving any other cultures, and pretending that you have never met them before.

Finally, I need to admit that, all this process changed me. I also started to fit people into well-known national stereotypes. I cannot imagine a person disconnected from his or her nationality, I desperately need to fill in the gaps in my mind before getting to know the person himself. Whenever I meet a new person, or a friend talks about someone, first burning question I cannot escape from is: "Where is he/she from?" 

Eda vs. Decisions

Brilliant perspective:

Satisficers are those who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high; but as soon as they find the car, the hotel, or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the optimal decision. So even if they see a bicycle or a photographer that would seem to meet their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, so they know they’re making the best possible choice…

I am definitely a satisficer... That is also why having made a decision does not stop me making another major but contradicting decision just after...

Just wish me luck!

(source: http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2006/06/are_you_a_satis/)

Eda vs. Two Roads

I just saw this on a friends Facebook profile. It is totally how I feel right now.

 The Road Not Taken 

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
 Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.

Elegant shoes vs. Eda

Elegant shoes? Really? 

Piyanist vs. Anvers

Sokak müzisyeni kolay iş mi? Bestecilikten ve konserlerden gelen gelir kesilince, Martinus Wolf amcam (www.martinuswolf.com) çareyi sokak piyanistliğinde bulmuş. Anvers'in en kalabalık caddesinde, baya da güzel çalıyor kendisi. Ama piyanoyu şehre getirmek o kadar da kolay değil. Taşımak pahalıya gelince 40 kilometreyi 300 kiloluk piyanoyu iterek gelmiş, bakınız burada:

Bir de bunun geri dönüşü var tabii, bakalım o zamana kadar yeterince para kazanabilecek mi?

Ehliyet vs. Bakkal

Hani derler ya, " kardesim, ehliyeti bakkaldan mı aldın"diye.

Gercekten bakkaldan alınabiliyormuş ehliyet, karşınızda Eindhoven Bakkal Sürücü Kursu:

Bu da web sitesi:

http://www.autorijschoolbakkal.nl/